Monday, April 21, 2008

...Observations at the Gym

Ok wow, I really wanted to write another entry sooner than this! Amazingly, I had something to do every night last week after work, that NEVER happens. Then I had a half day at work Friday so I could head down South to Purdue! I haven't been back in like a year, man I was way over due. I love that place so much. I really grew up there. It was only 4 years, but I really just grew. I became who I am today. It wasn't just stuff I learned at school, I learned about life. Ha, maybe that's why tuition is so high!

So all my things I had to do last week kept me from going to the gym, something I do about 3 nights a week now. I joined in the summer of '07, so it is still fairly new to me. I never really went to a gym. In college I went to the gym sometimes, mostly with my sorority sisters when we were feeling fat! But now I do it for my health, and to help my back problems. (I've got a case of the scoliosis.)

Going to the gym on a regular basis has not only made me become healthier, but it acts as entertainment, too, if you can believe that. How many of you are regulars at a gym? You probably start to notice people's quirks and stuff like that if you go regularly. I think working out is a really personal thing. Think about it, you're trying to improve the condition of your body. Your body is a personal thing, right?? Meanwhile you're sweating, breathing heavy, you probably don't smell very nice...maybe it's because I've never been in sports, but it sort of amazes me how open people become when they visit the gym.

Locker Rooms
I do not use the locker rooms. I did in college, and I saw one too many skinny naked girls walking around. Go ahead, walk around with your skinny nakedness and make me jealous. I'm just not comfortable walking around naked from a public shower to a locker. I go to the gym dressed in my work out clothes, and leave in them, too.

The Noise, Oh the Noise
Aside from the clanking weights from the weight machine things...has anyone ever noticed the noise that men make when they are lifting weights? Heavy breathing, groaning, the random "WOO!", the counting out loud...Only in a gym can a guy lay on a bench lifting a dumbell while another guy literally stands over him and says "Come on, baby, do it!" and not have his sexual orientation questioned! (I know some of my readers are gay, now is your time to chime in and let me know what you think about THAT one! hehe) And I gota say, it's a bit creepy to be on an eliptical and have an old sweaty guy next to me breathe heavy and groan every time his pace increases.

Girls Wearing Short Shorts
Almost as bad as restaurant commercials on the TVs in the cardio area are the skinny athletic girls wearing short shorts. There is a small high school near by, and I think some girls on the volley ball team work out at my gym. There are these little tiny bathing suit material shorts they wear. They are barely shorts, more like that "boy cut" underwear for girls. Then they get on the treadmill and run for hours on end and don't break a sweat. Meanwhile I'm on the treadmill, walking at a fast pace and out of breath, watching the food porn commercials on TV planning what I'm going to treat myself with for dinner when I leave!

Old People
During the week days, if I am lucky enough to have the day off, I go around 10am and I'm surrounded by old people. I love it. They have cliques. They gossip more than the younger crowds do. There's a woman who is probably around 70 who goes around and flirts with all the men. Her hair is always perfect and she wears just the right amount of makeup. It's so cute. I want to be like her when I'm 70. Then there's the man with all the oriental looking tattoos on his arms that you can tell he got when he was in the war. That guy can bench press you under the table.

Things That Make You Cringe
Ahem. White gym shorts with no obviously underwear. T-shirts with cut off sleeves, exposing the most gross thing on a man: [sweaty] underarm hair. Women running on treadmills unsupportive sports bras. People who leave the machines and don't clean them. People who wear the same white t-shirt every time they work out, only it's not white anymore because of how much they have sweat in it. Sweaty hair. There's just something about sweaty hair that makes me cringe. (Do we see a trend in the stuff that makes me cringe? I mean come on, they offer free towels!)

Well that about sums it up. It's like people transform themselves into another species when they are at the gym. I wonder what I look like to other people on the treadmill in my soft pants and old fraternity t-shirts, staring at the french fries on the Steak n' Shake commercial. Something I'm doing must be working, because I tried on a pair of knee-high boots this weekend and they wouldn't zip all the way! Maybe I should cut back!

So tell me about your gym experiences! Whether you are a regular or not, I'm sure you've got something to say. Oh, and a few people have asked me-you don't have to be a member or have a Google account to leave a comment. Just click the "Name/URL" option and type your name, you don't need to put a URL. Hopefully I will write again soon, my week isn't as full this time! Happy weightlifting!


  1. Someday I will go to the gym and shout vaguely homoerotic things at other men.

    I MEAN....

  2. Something I noticed going on at the Y all the time are the Stair Climber Masochists. They tend to be older men and they were there every day. The only machine they would use is the stair climber, which seems to be so inefficient it qualifies as a torture device. They would be on the climber for about an hour (with breaks), going as fast as they can, making really small but very fast step. The result: A bony one man and a stair climber soaked in sweat.

    I once had the great fortune to watch the entire process from the elliptical directly the climber.

  3. I haven't been to the gym for probably 15 years. Sorry I can't add anything to the conversation. :( Maybe I should go back to the gym.

  4. I think the last time I went to the gym was in high school, when it was necessary for my educational development.

    I remember someone asking me if I had pubic hair yet.

  5. In high school I worked out everyday in the football gym for weightlifting. Yes, I was one of the "noise makers" but I never stood over a guy screaming "Come on baby do it!" The grunts and groans when lifting is probably due to pushing myself more when your body says STOP. Not everyone does it but it's not like I'm thinking in my head "Ok, on this rep you need to scream bloody murder". It just happens. Some guys take it a little to far like screaming "Come on mack daddy!". It doesn't bother me for guys to grunt or groan when lifting. What DOES bother me are the guys that look in the mirror after a set and talk to themselves about how great they look or constantly flex. I currently work out at home so I don't get to see all the exciting and not-so exciting gym experiences.

  6. Yes, I have noticed all of those at my gym too. The straight guys grunting and cheering each other on boggles my mind too.
    If you saw some of the horrifying things taking place in the men's locker room though I imagine you would probably quit going to the gym altogether!