Thursday, June 10, 2010

...Changing Yourself

**If you have info on any woman's shelters in Chicago where I can donate my clothes, please leave a comment! Thanks!**

I'm cleaning out my closets. You should see all the clothes I'm going to give away. I want to find a woman's shelter to give them to, I feel like the clothes are still in good condition and can get good wear. I have a lot of dresses and skirts that don't even fit me anymore, not sure why I even moved them out here. They are clothes from what I call "pre-body change days". I quickly gained weight when I began working full time. I lost it relatively quickly, too. Not that I lost a lot of weight, but after I did, my body changed and weight that remained shifted, and during that time I sort of had to replenish a lot of my clothes because everything was too big. But I held onto a few pieces, I think because I just loved them so much. Like this really cute BCBG dress I bought at the outlet in Michigan city. It's four sizes too big.

In a way, trying on all those big clothes yesterday was encouraging for me to stay thin, not that I wasn't thin before, but I know I wasn't happy with myself. Not that thin=happy, but I just didn't look like myself anymore. Plus, added weight would be a really bad thing for my scoliosis to handle. Anyway, I remember a hot and humid evening the first summer I was working full time. I was sitting at my computer, and I had this full length mirror by me. I saw myself and I was like wow, this isn't me. What happened. I gained weight during my first job I think because I started going out to lunch (I never did that before, really) and stopped walking around like I did at Purdue all the time. At that moment I decided I was going to change.

I added back into my life what I was missing, the walking. I walked to the end and back of my apartment complex every night. It was only about a mile and a half. Sometimes on the weekends I did it twice in one day. Then I started eating really well. I never went out to lunch. I ate a LOT of raw produce. I parked my car far away. I'd get up and walk around and stretch every hour at work. I didn't diet, I just changed habits. Then I remember about 2 months down the road someone at work asked if I lost weight. My reply was simply, "I don't even know!" But hearing that felt good. Also it was a kick in the butt, like, "what, you noticed I had weight to loser?" Haha. I weighed myself the next time I visited my parents house, I don't own a scale. I lost 10 pounds since the last time I weighed myself, whenever that was. I was shocked. I started to realize it about a month later when I put on pants that were too tight last season and now they were too big. It was a good feeling. Shortly after all this fun stuff was happening to me, I joined a gym and started belly dancing.

I didn't just feel that I looked better, I felt that I slept better, was more alert, my mind was clear, I had more fun. Until all this started happening, I didn't even realize in the first place that I was in this mindless, activity-less slump. It wasn't about the weight, it was about my life style choices!

I just knew something wasn't healthy anymore with me, so I changed. An outcome of that just happened to be weight loss. I think if some people see it like that, losing weight would be so much easier. Don't diet, just take a step back and see how you're treating your most prized possession- your own body!